Little N will be nearly 11 months old at Christmas, a little too young for Santa Claus, advent calendars, Christmas carols, presents and definitely too young for mulled wine (even more for me then!). However, his great Nana sent me a link to the Royal Mail ‘Letters to Santa’ service, which includes a letter back from Santa Claus, and a little memento from his first Christmas.
So, here’s his first ever letter to Santa Claus…
I’m not really sure who you are or what ‘elves’ are, but I’m supposed to let you know if I’ve been naughty or nice this year and then hopefully you will bring me something super-duper to open on Christmas Day, so here goes…
Firstly, do you know what Christmas is, because I’m a little lost? I’m new and this is my first ‘Christmas’ – is that even the right spelling? It’s all a little confusing.
I guess this will be the first of many letters I send to you, that’s right isn’t it, I send one every year? If that’s true, then I should probably be honest from the start. If I lie to you now, it means I’ll have to keep it up every year and that could get confusing and exhausting. So, in the spirit of Christmas (still no clue what Christmas is, but it sounds like the right thing to say) I’ll be honest with you, as you look like you’ve had your share of tough days and will understand, it’s not always easy being good, especially on a tough day.
The truth is, I haven’t been good all year. For a start, I’ve not been here all year. I only arrived in February, so this really is all new to me. I’m still learning – but don’t hold that against me, I promise I’ll do better next year. It’s just so hard figuring everything out, there’s so much to learn and very little time spare between eating, nappy changes, bath time, crying and sleeping (though I often skip this). I know I’ve been a little monster, at times I’ve made mummy cry, thrown up on her new clothes, made her feel fat and frumpy and she’s wanted to ‘send me back’ – although between you and me I’m not sure how that’s possible!
But I’m improving, even Mum says I’m improving so that’s definitely good right? Maybe I could have one or two presents off my list? (consider it encouragement for next year).
If you and the elves (by the way what are these?) have the time, and as I’ve definitely been better than some other babies I know, please could I have the following…
- Coasters – I love these, any picture is fine, I’m not fussy. They’re really good for chewing and banging on the coffee table. Although Mum says I’m making dents and Dad will be cross (don’t worry about him, I’ll use my cuteness to get around him). I like to have one in each hand so a set would be good, and a few back ups would be handy if Mum and Dad swoop in and take them away from me
- Dad’s keys – maybe you could find some way that he could forget about them, lose them, or no longer need them to drive the car so I can chew them all the time, whenever I want? They are super tasty and make the best noises
- My very own dog bowl – I really love splashing the water in Poppy’s bowl (she’s our dog by the way) but I keep tipping it over, which then gets me in trouble with Mum and Dad. I’ve been practising and I can’t crawl into the kitchen super fast to get ahead of Mum but I’m still not allowed to play, not even for a little time, because Poppy doesn’t like to share (which doesn’t seem very fair). So, maybe I could have my own dog bowl to tip over whenever I want?
- Bananas, a really big bunch of bananas – have you ever had a banana? If yes, you don’t need me to tell you how scrumptious they are. I expect they’re on everyone’s Christmas list right? I don’t want to be greedy, I’m sure they’re in demand, but if you could give me enough for Christmas that would be great. Mum and Dad might forget to buy some and even if they do, Dad tends to get more than his share, leaving me with just the small ones
- Dog treats – OK, OK, if I’m pushing my luck, maybe these could be for Poppy? She’s been really good and sharing her treats with me, I don’t think she’s too happy about it, but sometimes she leaves them on the floor and they look so tasty I just can’t resist. If you could bring her a few extra tasty ones, she will really enjoy Christmas this year, and maybe we can finally be friends. I can’t promise you though that I won’t still taste one or two, so please be generous
I’m almost done, I promise…
- Pegs – I’ve found the peg bag a few times and they are really tasty, not to mention colourful as well. Except, it’s another one of those items Mum and Dad keep taking away from me because Mum always needs them to hang out the washing. So, I think if I had my own everyone would be happy
Just one final request…
- Wine – OK, OK, don’t panic, I’m really asking for my Mum. I’ve been a terror at times, I’ll admit to my mistakes, but my Mum has been super-duper (Dad, well he’s sneaked into the spare room on tough nights). I hate to ask, especially as I’m new, it’s our first year getting to know each other and it might be a little cheeky (or you might think I’m just adorable for thinking of others – yes, let’s go with that) but I really do think she deserves a bottle of wine (or three, she will happily take as many as you’ve got spare).She’s already had to sacrifice a lot for me, and I’ve not been easy in return. If you could find the time to deliver her some wine (red or white) that would make her Christmas extra special – and I might be let off another week of not sleeping through the night and waking her up for a cuddle. Right now I’m getting by on my cuteness and kissable cheeks, but it won’t last, age will catch up with me (just like it has with Dad).
Anyway, that’s probably more than enough from me, I don’t want to get a reputation as that kid who rambles on, or asks too much, especially when I’ve not been good all year (but remember I’ve not been here all year too so don’t hold that against me).
I hope you and the elves have a chance to catch your breath before Christmas Day, or maybe you’ve got a holiday planned for afterwards, I definitely recommend Mexico!
Happy Christmas (I’ll definitely try to figure out what that means before next year so it can be a genuine sign off).
Love little N
P.S. Mum says you like G&T and chocolate biscuits so I’ll have some ready for you.
P.P.S. I really wanted to send a hand written letter, for that personal touch, but my handwriting is a little tricky to read so Mum has typed this up for me – she really is a super-duper Mum.