This week I’ve been looking back through the
hundreds thousands of photos that we’ve taken since little N arrived. Mainly because, despite my best intentions, we only have one picture of little N printed and on display, and I feel it’s about time we got a little more organised, especially as he’s now one! But, I also noticed that while I was writing January: our month without Mr A I actually didn’t have any pictures of just little N and I together.
But looking through the photos I’ve now realised that January wasn’t just a bad month because Mr A wasn’t here to hold the camera, there are actually very few photos of just me and little N – those mother and son moments that I want to hold on to, but haven’t captured on camera, and I’m devastated.
Maybe it’s because I always have the camera in my hand, or perhaps it’s because even after 11 years, Mr A still struggles to take a picture of me that I like and don’t delete anyway! Or maybe it’s a combination of both, but it has to change. I don’t want little N to look back and only have memories of time spent with his Dada and other relatives – when I was there too!
I don’t always like the way I look in photos, I’m sure I’m not alone. But I’m going to battle my insecurities, vanity and lack of self-confidence and let Mr A take more photos, stop deleting the ones he does take (although not the really awful ones!) and make sure I keep a record for us all to look back on.
I’ve decided to set myself a challenge and every few months I’m going to post my favourite top 10 pictures of little N and I – hopefully I’m not setting myself up to fail, but this will actually be the encouragement I need to have more photos taken of just the two of us. I have so many special ones of the boys together, I’d love to have the same for me and little N.
I’m going to start off easy on myself, these are the ones that have made the cut in the last year but I’m making a promise to myself not to be so quick to delete in the future.
These are my favourite pictures as my first year of being a Mama (& only two are selfies!)…
And not to forget the other most important member of our family, here’s some of my favourite pictures of Poppy, whose sadly been neglected this year…
Is it just me or do you find that there are gaps in your photos of you and your little ones?